Self-Confidence Boosters

I talked to a friend today, and we came across the topic of self-confidence. I used to be very shy and worried about what other people thought of me. Matter of fact, I was so afraid of rejection that I withdrew from people, spoke in a very low tone of voice for fear of mistakes (especially being German and wanting to be able to speak English perfectly), and basically talked myself down, while amplifying my flaws by pointing them out to others. I also have had some weight issues in my time, which didn't exactly help my confidence, either. Today, my confidence is at an all-time high, tho I still struggle from time to time. There are several things that helped me in becoming more personable, outgoing and confident, which I would like to share:

• Find your own BEST features and qualities. Make a list and write them down! Think of your beautiful eyes, the smile everyone adores, the knowledge you possess, the way you care about others, the skills you do have. You may be a great cook, really good at your job or simply a good mom or dad! Create a list of self-affirmations and read them out loud to yourself every day. Have a version of that list handy, wherever you go, just in case you have one of those days when everything seems to fail. Remember, like Zig Ziglar says: “Failure is not a person, only an event!“ If you make a mistake, just LEARN from it, and MOVE ON. Guess what - you just bettered yourself! Great job! Pretty soon you assimilate those great qualities with yourself. They will once again become part of who you portrait yourself !

• Don’t compare yourself to friends and acquaintances who seem to “have it all”. Instead, think of those who are less fortunate, less educated, less skilled, heavier, not as pretty and not as well off financially. Pretty soon you realize that there are people out there who have less, but are still happy. You have every reason to feel good about yourself! Count your blessings!

•  Don't point out your flaws! Chances are that the people around you don't even notice your flaws UNTIL you make them aware of your self-perceived shortcomings. Instead, USE your good qualities and let them shine!

• What are your goals and dreams? Don’t tell yourself and others that you don’t have any! What about that dress you would like to fit into, the new car you would love to own and reuniting with old friends? Would you like a promotion at work or make more money? Write all the goals down that you can possibly think of - and be specific. Write something like “I would like to fit into that cute dark red size 8 dress I saw at Macy’s by next spring.” Start with little goals that are easily reachable within a short amount of time. Then move on to bigger and more long-term goals. Again, be as specific as possible. Finally, be outrageous. Write down goals that are possible, but seem hard to reach at the present time. “I want to write a romance novel within the next 3 years, get published and sell 50,000 copies”, for instance. Goals and dreams refer to a better future self and reaching even the most minute goals on your list will improve your confidence tremendously. The magic word is “SUCCESS“!

• Sometimes low self-confidence is brought on by real life problems. Losing weight, for example, may be a difficult thing to do. You can either just try and accept yourself for who you are the way you are and be happier, or you can make a serious plan on how to resolve that issue, and  feel better within your own skin by eliminating the problem altogether. One of the most prevalent phobias, the fear of public speaking, can be counteracted by taking classes or joining organizations like Toastmasters International and meeting people with similar concerns who are trying to improve their skills and fight stage fright. It’s great to know you are not alone and learn tricks from the professionals while making new friends!

• Go out and TALK to people you don’t know. I like the saying: “Strangers are only friends we haven’t met yet!“ Practice gathering information by asking OPEN-ended questions. Those are questions that cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no“. For instance, ask: “ What type of music do you like?” or “Where are you from?” Inquire about hobbies, sports, favorite food and such. Also tell about yourself by answering the same questions in response. Pretty soon you have a great conversation going on!

• Enjoy yourself where ever go and whatever you do. Smile a lot. Make faces in a mirror and stick out your tongue, if you have to. Eventually you will start laughing, because you realize you are being very silly! Most of all, learn how to laugh at YOURSELF! Once you can laugh about your own flaws and mistakes, no one else’s laugh can affect you in a bad way any longer! Laughing is also one of the best stress relievers!