Goodbyes

There are few things as life-changing as a friend leaving your side to pursue important avenues in a new life in a new far-away location. I can honestly say that friends who left my side either physically or emotionally, have affected me in a greater extent than relationship break-ups, with the exception that I can actually appreciate their leaving when they do it for a good reason. I am the type of friend that will push their selfish reasons for trying too keep friends close by aside, because I believe that when they find their way and success in life, they will be an even greater friend and person when we reunite, or even if we don't. Fact is I had to take steps in my life that meant everything for my future. I left my home country Germany and my family back in '97 at 20 yrs old. Yes, I married a man from the military, but I actually had this intention to leave for the U.S. since I was 11 years old! I just had to do this to satisfy my need to make my dream come true, regardless of the consequences and disregarding how it would happen. Today, I am single, but happy, on my own, but a better person, a "cool" mom in my kids' and their friends' opinion, and someone who has developed from a shy girl to an outgoing, personable and intelligent individual who can survive in almost any situation!
Whatever happened in between, it was all worth it! I wish the same for my friends! I love them so much that I have accepted the fact that I have to let them go and let them make their own luck!
I do hope that I remain part of their life. I hope that they will still consult with me on important decisions close to their heart. I hope that the miles wont let the friendship grow cold. But I know, just like me, they have to discover or re-discover themselves as the person they want to be. It means everything!

Here is some advice:

• Take the risk - you only live once!
• Don't let toxic people talk you out of opportunities that could change your life for the better! That includes closest friends and family members!
• Make a plan and stick to it!
• If you know that someone will try to hold you back, tell them of your decision as late as possible and don't look back!
• Push your negative thoughts aside and focus on all the benefits of the steps you are about to take. Remember, this is a new chapter in your life, no matter how uncertain; one door closes, one door opens -always!
• Don't delay - if you can do it today, do it!! 
• Keep the faith, no matter what happens. Whatever you put your effort and intention into will dictate your results!
• We all make mistakes - just remember to count both the lessons and the blessings, and act accordingly!

 

The Importance Of Teaching Kids Their Parents And Guardians Phone Number and How To Call Collect

I woke up early from an awful dream... I left my daughter at a Verizon store and forgot to pick her back up...then couldnt find her hrs later...we found her purse & her dead Cricket phone in there & signs she had settled down somewhere.

For real life that means for me that it's time to cancel my Verizon phone and make sure kids still know how to call collect and my new Cricket number. Good reminder!

YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOUR KID MIGHT GET LOST OR EVEN ABDUCTED! 

The following is also a good thing in case of other emergencies. These days it's easy to reach authorities for kids to locate their parents or pass on emergency information. 

When I was about 5 years old, my mother collapsed at the kitchen table and fell into a seizure. I was home alone with her. My parents had taken me to to their volunteer German red Cross classes since I was a toddler.  I called my grandma, gave her all the necessary information,  and she called an ambulance. I put my mom into a safety position the best I knew how and removed furniture and objects that could hurt her. My mom was saved, though she was in a coma for a while. But my calling for help was the thing that saved her. It was a life saver to know how to make that call and do some First Aid.

The very least your kids should know is how to call 911 or reach an operator by dialing "0"! Of course, they need to know their parents or guardians full name, too, and if possible, their address! Calling collect is easy, too, with phone numbers like 1-800-Collect.  Kids are the best learners at an early age! teach them every day, keep at it a couple of weeks, and they'll know how to act in an emergency situation!

 

Love Versus Physical And Sexual Attraction

How do you know if it’s really love and not just physical and sexual attraction?
It’s hard enough to answer that question for yourself, but what are the indicators for real emotion?
First off, love at first sight may exist, but you will never know for sure unless you take time to explore what you’re really feeling. Sight is only one of our senses. Obviously, love involves a whole lot more, including devotion, commitment, and the will to look through and accept another’s flaws. There are certain things we see as attractive in another person, including but not limited to physical traits, such as blond hair and blue eyes, for instance, certain body types, someone’s smile, little antics, or the way they talk.
Now admiring their physical traits can make someone really sexually excited, especially in males as I noticed lol. However, that doesn’t need to be the case. Females seem to be more apt to getting the proverbial butterflies in their stomach. Still, this all may be sexual attraction and has not much to do with love. When you get to the point where you’ve known a person for a while and you still feel very warm about them, still admiring things that are less physical in nature, the way they express themselves, their intelligence, their creativity, the way they treat others, the way they handle difficult situations, and the way they show you affection, despite not having been involved in any kind of sexual contact with them, then just maybe you find yourself in love.
I found myself in a dream a few days ago: I said to someone I like a lot:
“…sure, I want to take you home, but not for sex. I want to take you home for the wonderful hugs, to hear you talk about your little projects and your kids. I want you for you!”
That alone proves to me that I am at a point in my life where I want to settle down. I don’t want to sleep around until I find the one who’s really worth it. Maybe that person is already in my life, but hard to say. I want to be sure. Most of all when falling in love, how you can know for sure whether feelings are mutual. Is it when the other person talks about you to others in a non-sexual way, but rather admiring your personal strengths and abilities? That may just be a real good friend for you. Is it when they somehow keep involving you in their life? Is it when they offer to be there for you when you really need them, and listen to you when nobody else will?
It seems like friendship is the main building block in developing real love, no matter what. You can learn to live with someone, but friendship requires many of the same things love does. Friendship doesn’t have to be exclusive, but love needs to be. Neither one of them can involve manipulation of any kind. Don’t abuse benefits that come with the relationship, or else it simply won’t last. And if you are with someone, or want to be, be subtle. Keep the real personal things to yourself. Don’t embarrass the other person by revealing things that should stay between the two of you. Being proud of the one you love is great, but advertising them isn’t the way to go. Or are you in love at all?
Unconditional love is mandatory in love, but also in true friendship. In friendship we are to be like brothers and sisters. In love we are to be like lovers, beyond any family ties.

Storms

 
Man, I love summer storms. The summer heat dissipating and the breeze messing up you hair while driving the clouds across the sky. The cooler air on your skin and cool drops of rain giving pleasant chills… The sun is still trying to peak through the clouds and the grass and the leaves of the trees move back and forth with gusts of wind. Lightning flashes on the distant horizon, before you ever get to hear the thunder. Nature is in a bit of an uproar as it seems. Birds calling each other, wildlife looking for shelter.
And then the wind picks up, the noise of the approaching thunderstorm increases and clouds start covering the sky in shades of grey blue and black. Stray leaves fly all around you. It thunders and you see lightning getting closer. Then the rain really begins. Thick, heavy drops start falling; first a few, then more, faster and faster, building up to a full-blown downpour. Gusts of air whipping rain into your face, wetting you through and through, drenching your clothes as you run for cover. Lightning lights up the sky as static fills the sky. Heavy thunder makes the ground shake. The branches of trees are waving back and forth, trunks creaking trying to resist the forces of nature. The storm reaches it’s peak.
Then the air cools down quickly. It suddenly seems to be so clear, filled with the scents of nature, pure, unpolluted, clean and fresh. The rain diminishes almost as quickly as it started. It almost resembles a mist now. The earth is breathing with new life. Nature has cleansed itself of past abuse, it starts anew.

9/11 We Will NEVER Forget!! 10th Anniversary

9/11
It happened 10 years ago. September 11, 2001. On that fateful day back in 2001, we were all in shock. There is not one person I know that can't tell me what they were doing when the Twin Towers in New York were attacked, burnt and came crashing down.

The World Trade Center Twin Towers in their former beauty.

My story is this:

I was in training for a call center position for the local phone company. It was 8am and our training class was waiting for our trainer to arrive. He was running late, because he got stuck in traffic. One of my co-trainees was always glued to his blue tooth capable phone. All of a sudden he quoted his phone source: "OMG a plane hit one of the Twin Towers in New York!" We were quite startled by this announcement and started questioning him on the details. Right then our trainer arrived, who was quickly informed of the news. I remember thinking: "There isn't any airport close to the World Trade Center....!" We quickly entered the training room and accessed the Internet on our computers. All the major news networks showed live feeds and replays of what had just happened. As they showed the burning tower from all angles suddenly we saw another plane approach. We weren't quite sure if this was another replay. Then we realized that this was a live feed! In disbelief, we watched the second plane strike the other tower! We heard the same horror we felt in the voices of the newscasters as they confirmed what we just saw! It was mind-blowing! Of course, there was no sense in continuing training. Instead, we kept watching as the events unfolded in front of our eyes... News came in of the Pentagon being struck in Pennsylvania and Flight 93 going down with the brave souls that prevented our nation's capital from being struck.
One of the most shocking things I remember from the newscasts was a newscaster broadcasting right as the Twin Towers came down... this person was in the middle of talking when the ground started rumbling noisily and the camera became shaky. A huge cloud of ashes approached from the newscaster's back.... and then he was gone, just like that....and the camera went black and white with static...

The Twin Towers burning right after the 2nd plane struck.

This was a very sad day for our nation, but also one that brought the whole world together as one! People helped each other without second thought. Some even sacrificed their lives to save others. Everybody became more aware that every day could be our last one and that we have to make each day count! We all became stronger in the process. But we will always remember those who lost their lives and their families!

Here are some of the statistics of the terror attack that left the whole world breathless. (Taken from Christruitt.com)
WE WILL NEVER FORGET!!

Totals:
Total Deaths	2996
Confirmed Deaths	2948
Reported Deaths	24
Reported Missing	24

By Location: World Trade Center 2626 AA 11 (North Tower) 87 AA 77 (Pentagon) 59 United 92 (Pennsylvania) 40 United 175 (South Tower) 125

Rescue Workers: Firefighters 319 Police 50

Zen of the Day: Our Capacity For Experience

When I am on Facebook I use an application called "My Daily Zen", because it can be quite inspirational and raise philosophical questions and start interesting discussions.

 

 

 

Here is my most recent Zen of the Day:

 

"We do not learn by experience, but by our capacity for experience"

I gave my 2 cents on this by expanding on the meaning, or my understanding thereof: 

...our capacity to understand that we can learn from our experience, and the fact that EVERY experience, good or bad IS a life lesson! =)

I want to talk to this just a little more. The understanding that everything we experience has a lesson to teach us makes dealing with unexpected and dire circumstances much easier. Comprehending that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, indeed, helps us to be more open to learning from our challenging experiences. The fact that we can only improve through trial and error, yet stay positive, gives us a major advantage over those who rest in misery, pitying their circumstances and themselves. Rather than becoming stagnant in situations that might bring us down, we should attain a new attitude, use our capability to be creative, and look for different approaches, unusual methods and better solutions!

The Length Of Your Ring Finger May Say A Few Things About You...

I just came across this article on the National Geographic website that states that the length of your ring finger in comparison to your pointer finger can say a lot about your genetic traits. Read the article here! Aparrently more testosterone causes a longer ring finger and is most prevalent in males, of course. It relates a lot to agression and sexual drive, but also to greater likelihood of certain diseases and conditions. Another link refers to lack of fear and higher risk taking, especially in financial matters.

A typical male hand features a ring finger longer than the pointer finger.

I checked my hands and it seems that I am one of those less common women with a ring finger just slightly longer than my pointer finger. LOL

As another article linked to in the former states: "Testosterone is the principle sex hormone in males, but it's also found in naturally varying levels in women. In both sexes, testosterone enhances competitiveness and dominance, boosts confidence, and reduces fear." (read that article, here, as well)

I guess it's true... your ring finger does something about you, indeed. Someone asked me to do something she wasn't courageous enough to do. I asked why? Her response: "Because you got balls!" I looked down at my privates and laughed: "Really?!" LOL.... I should have looked at my ring finger, I guess! Hahaha! Of course, I helped her out!

"Truth Or Dare"

"Truth Or Dare" is an interesting game. Dares sometimes can be annoying to others, unsafe or get you in trouble. Hence I usually stick with "Truth"! I like telling the truth, even if it might be a bit embarrassing or hurtful to people's feelings. For some people, telling the truth is a dare in itself. Let me correct that. For a LOT of people, it is a dare to go beyond what they normally do. They may not be liars, but people often refuse to see, acknowledge or speak the truth, with other words DENY it, despite the fact that they KNOW it. The game "Truth" is really is a dare to admit a truth like that to others.

I look at it this way: to come out and tell tell the truth can be quite liberating. Yes, it may involve some unexpected reactions and emotions, but  it also helps your own self-realization and can re-define friendship relationships. In the dating world, it can help to get to know one another on a different and maybe deeper level than what transpires from an initial conversation. Motives can become clearer as well, if the proper questions are asked. You can almost look at it as a fun-based interview for relationship prospects. :P

I like to play it with random people, not so much for them to hear truths from me, but also for me to see what questions they ask. It tells me what they secretly think and want to know about me, but are afraid to ask in most cases. Here, I open up a door for them to find out more about me, and in turn I learn more about them, as well! What a great deal!! There is often more wisdom in (and in looking at) the question than in the answer to the question...

Moving In Less Than 30 Days On A Small Budget

I was just told that my moving date will be in less than 30 days, basically more like 3 weeks. Great joy to me, but hectic times ahead! How does one accomplish a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, living room, kitchen and vehicle move in that short a time frame without over-stressing and over-working oneself?

1. Build Up That Motivation!
First off, the more pleasant the result of the move, the more motivated you will be to get out of the old place! Use that positive strong energy whenever it's there when packing up. 

2. Get Free Moving Boxes
Why pay for moving boxes, when you can get them free from a lot of stores? Ask your local grocery in the morning when they are first unpacking products to score quite a number of sturdy boxes. I also have gotten boxes from local pet stores and even the thrift store, where people deliver donations in boxes that will be trashed once the donations are put on the store shelves. Some recycling places may also let you take some of the boxes they received if you ask nicely! Sometimes you can get free moving boxes on Craiglist as well. Do these things for a couple of days in a row and you'll have plenty of moving boxes free of charge!

3. Organize! 
I am a little OCD when it comes to packing, but it helps me to put everything in the right spot and find my stuff once I get to my new place. First, I go room by room and item type by item type. Secondly I pack the things that I don't use much. That way, they are out of the way. The most used and daily use items will go in the last boxes I pack, just before and on the day of the move. What goes on the truck or trailer last comes out first and is right there when you need it!

4. Pace yourself!
Don't overexert yourself on the last few days before the move! Instead, as soon as you know the approximate moving date, begin packing bit by bit, whenever you have a spare 15 minutes and the energy to do it! by the time the moving date comes around, you will have a pretty stress-free time, just moving boxes from one place to the next. Since you organized everything in first place, you may even be able to throw a little housewarming party the same day with friends who helped you move!

5. Label Boxes!
There are quite a few things you can do, when it comes to labeling. Most people designate boxes by room, like kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. Others may label them by item type, like books, pans, DVDs, etc. You can also use a room and level of importance description, like "office-important" or "kitchen-miscellaneous". A less utilized, but effective method is to label boxes with numbers, and assign 3x5 cards with a detailed list of items to each numbered moving box. Label the boxes as you go. That way you won't forget what's in them!

6. Protect Your Valuables!
Keep valuables with you at all times, or pack them safely and know where they are. Label them with a code name, so that only you know what it is and in which box they are. That way they don't get lost or stolen!


7. Call Utility Companies Ahead Of Time!
Call utility companies like the power and phone company, the waterworks and post office ahead of time to transfer services to the new residence. You wouldn't want to get to your new home without being able to turn on the light, heat or a/c, take a shower or make a phone call! It's also nice to have TV and Internet at the end of moving day to relax.

8. Enlist Help For Moving Day & Confirm!
Now you know that everything will be ready for the move. But how many trips will it take to move all your possessions and furniture to your new place? Do you have a truck, a trailer, or a U-haul moving van? Of course you can hire professional movers, but most of the time it's less expensive and much more pleasant to have friends to help you move! Make sure to see who is available to help on the date of the move, for how long, and their lifting capabilities in regards to heavy items like living room furniture. Does anyone you know have a trailer or truck you can borrow free of charge or by paying for fuel alone? Are there any extra drivers available to move additional vehicles besides your car and truck?
Friends that help deserve lots of thanks! Maybe there are items you were planning to leave behind. Some of the friends helping you may appreciate a little token of thanks just like that!

9. Prepare Portable Food And Beverages The Night Before Moving Day!
Moving won't allow you to cook a lot of food and stop by a lot of places to get groceries without leaving your possessions alone temporarily. It is best to prepare an adequate supply of food, such as sandwiches, snacks and portable beverages for you, friends and movers. Have a cooler and ice on hand for when the fridge is no longer an option. It cuts down on time, and you won't go hungry or thirsty in all the excitement.


10. Get A Good Night's Sleep And a Good Breakfast!
You will need all the energy you can get on moving day. Go to bed early and have a plan laid out for the day of the move. It will take things off your mind that might otherwise keep you awake and restless. A good breakfast takes care of physical stress and cravings while moving your belongings right from the start.

Happy Moving!

Getting My Voice Back...

I used to work in a call center for almost 8 years, and my voice has been a mandatory asset in any job I have held so far. I also always loved to sing. However, back when I was a child, I caught a virus that caused my first case of laryngitis. Laryngitis affects your vocal cords and makes you lose your voice for several days, if not longer. It seems like I have been susceptible to inflamed vocal cords ever since, especially when I happen to get a cold. Recently I picked up a new hobby, karaoke. Well, in the beginning I was a little shy and didn't strain my vocal cords very much, but my new confidence often makes me sing all out 3 nights a week these days. My vocal cords thank me with a hoarse voice by Monday morning. Then the work begins. After all, I want my singing voice back by the next weekend lol.

I have tried many known remedies, some more and some less effective.

Some methods:

Drinking lots of water.
Water keeps you hydrated and keeping you vocal cords moist is essential to retaining their function.

Anti-inflammatories.
Anti-inflammatories as contained in many pain killers and cold remedies like Theraflu will indeed reduce inflammation of the vocal cords and sore throat pain.

Honey. 
Honey is a natural antibiotic and healing agent that will also soothe the vocal cords. I usually let a spoonful slowly melt down my throat and add it to teas and milk.

Herbal Teas. 
There are many teas that will soothe and shield the vocal cords. Some of the best ones are slippery elm bark, liquorice root and marshmallow root tea, due to their ability to coat the vocal cords. Other ones are honeysuckle flower and ginger tea. An old tea recipe made from lemon juice, apple cider vinegar and cayenne pepper, sweetened with honey is also said to work well.

Steam. 
A hot shower with inhalation of steam from the water will moisten and soothe vocal cords.

Gargling hard alcohol. 
This is something that was recommended to me, but is to be used with caution. Apart from the fact that you don't want to be horribly drunk when you sing, alcohol can adversely affect the vocal cords when you are dealing with virus-caused laryngitis. However, the short-term effect of gargling hard alcohol is the ability to numb your vocal cords and temporarily improve their use.

Non-use of your voice. 
Like a doctur put it to me bluntly when I was a kid with a first time occurrence of laryngitis, "you just need to shut up for a while!" This is probably the hardest thing to do, but resting your voice is very important!

Reflexology.
This method amazed me quite a bit, as it appears to be very effective. It basically consists of massaging a pressure point located on the top of your foot, right above the area between the big toe and pointer toe periodically throughout the day. The 2nd diagram on this page shows where it is located (46).

Click here for more home remedies you can try.

Protecting My Friends

Some people may think I am crazy for loving my fiends like I do. But I have been more heartbroken about losing a friend than a significant other. Nothing can replace true friendship! Men and women come and go, but true friends stick around! When I have a friend who I feel I can trust, I am there for them and have their back. When someone harms them emotionally or physically, I will be there with the promise to become the attacker's worst nightmare, if needed. I am the type of person that is a great observer and very intuitive. I smell trouble way before it happens, usually. I cant always prevent it, but I do whenever possible. When trouble happens, anyway, even if no severe action is taken, I always have time to give, advice to share, a shoulder to cry on, a hug to comfort, a place to sleep and food to eat!

If you get on my bad side, though, don't expect me to come hold your hand while you put down and disrespect my friends... I won't stand for it! Liars only deceive themselves, disrespectful people don't earn respect and cheaters just cheat themselves out of a happy life with the one that is willing to love them exclusively and unconditionally! Remember it's your own insecurities and baggage that keep you from growing. Keep to yourself, hypocrites and fakes, until you can straighten out your life BEFORE becoming part of someone else's, causing discomfort and grief down the road!

However, if you still can't get a grip on yourself.... remember.... I'll be there, too!

Our Authentic Self

I have gained a lot of life experiences for being only 34 years old. Life has taught me many things, but one of my greatest achievements has been becoming my true self again after long years of struggle. I learned is that being authentic is essential to loving ourselves and being loved! Being authentic means always being true to yourself and others. It also means being unique and standing up for yourself, no matter what!

Zig Ziglar says: "You cannot consistently act in a manner that is inconsistent with who you really are!", and it's so true! Why lie to yourself and about yourself? Someone will eventually find out, and trust will be lost.
Yes, truth can hurt sometimes. However dishonesty will cause chain reactions of unknown magnitude that carry from you to friends and on to their friends. Suddenly you find yourself with a bad reputation that affects your life and even your work. When I say "bad reputation" I mean a reputation of being dishonest in your dealings, being two-faced, and suffering from lack of "backbone". "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not!" is another favorite quote of mine. Even if you are feared or disliked, truth and authenticity always demand respect, at the very least!

Lack of authenticity reflects itself in our family life, friendships and in our work. My family and friends know that I am authentic. I say what I do and do what I say. I have their back! That's how it should be. If I commit to something, I usually do it, unless there are unwanted or unexpected circumstances that force me to do otherwise. Work is a little bit of a different story. Most people work jobs that they don't really like. They do it for the money and benefits, and because it somewhat fits their talents. I feel that you're really only authentic in your work as long as you love at least part of it. I am much into the healing arts and while I am quite talented in being a Developmental Therapist, lately I have found that it isn't a 100% perfect fit for me. Believe it, or not, I have been told that I am too kind! Well the healing professions have many facets and I will remain within that professional niche. But I will look further into Massage Therapy, Reiki, Crystals and Herbalism, while continuing to write. These are my "true to myself" talents. The creative arts are just as much part of myself, however, to chose beauty over healing would be foolish. Even though my many talents can be used in different ways, only the healing arts would really make for an authentic "Petra-Profession". Only when the profession matches your authentic self, will you truly love your job!

There is so much more I could say, but for now, in conclusion:
Acting in accordance to your authentic self is liberating! And I love it!