How do you know if it’s really love and not just physical and sexual attraction?
It’s hard enough to answer that question for yourself, but what are the indicators for real emotion?
First off, love at first sight may exist, but you will never know for sure unless you take time to explore what you’re really feeling. Sight is only one of our senses. Obviously, love involves a whole lot more, including devotion, commitment, and the will to look through and accept another’s flaws. There are certain things we see as attractive in another person, including but not limited to physical traits, such as blond hair and blue eyes, for instance, certain body types, someone’s smile, little antics, or the way they talk.
Now admiring their physical traits can make someone really sexually excited, especially in males as I noticed lol. However, that doesn’t need to be the case. Females seem to be more apt to getting the proverbial butterflies in their stomach. Still, this all may be sexual attraction and has not much to do with love. When you get to the point where you’ve known a person for a while and you still feel very warm about them, still admiring things that are less physical in nature, the way they express themselves, their intelligence, their creativity, the way they treat others, the way they handle difficult situations, and the way they show you affection, despite not having been involved in any kind of sexual contact with them, then just maybe you find yourself in love.
I found myself in a dream a few days ago: I said to someone I like a lot:
“…sure, I want to take you home, but not for sex. I want to take you home for the wonderful hugs, to hear you talk about your little projects and your kids. I want you for you!”
That alone proves to me that I am at a point in my life where I want to settle down. I don’t want to sleep around until I find the one who’s really worth it. Maybe that person is already in my life, but hard to say. I want to be sure. Most of all when falling in love, how you can know for sure whether feelings are mutual. Is it when the other person talks about you to others in a non-sexual way, but rather admiring your personal strengths and abilities? That may just be a real good friend for you. Is it when they somehow keep involving you in their life? Is it when they offer to be there for you when you really need them, and listen to you when nobody else will?
It seems like friendship is the main building block in developing real love, no matter what. You can learn to live with someone, but friendship requires many of the same things love does. Friendship doesn’t have to be exclusive, but love needs to be. Neither one of them can involve manipulation of any kind. Don’t abuse benefits that come with the relationship, or else it simply won’t last. And if you are with someone, or want to be, be subtle. Keep the real personal things to yourself. Don’t embarrass the other person by revealing things that should stay between the two of you. Being proud of the one you love is great, but advertising them isn’t the way to go. Or are you in love at all?
Unconditional love is mandatory in love, but also in true friendship. In friendship we are to be like brothers and sisters. In love we are to be like lovers, beyond any family ties.
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