How to Become Famous - or Infamous - at a Karaoke Bar ;-)

I love my favorite karaoke bar Terry's State Street Saloon and my friends who are "regulars" there! We have literally become a bit of a family over there. Some of the customers could be classified as "famous" while others are more deserving of the title "infamous". I think the following list of amusing observations sets these two types of customers apart (yes, it is quite subjective and all based on my own opinion, for entertainment purposes only!):

* Famous customers have an awesome voice, but even if they don't, they sing great songs, try their best - and what's more important, have a fantastic attitude!

* Infamous customers choose songs most people don't like, sing off key, don't care whether they do and quit halfway through the song, even if the KDJ tries his hardest to back them up...

* Famous customers may have a few drinks to get in the mood and relax their vocal cords. They do a good job singing no matter if they are sober or a little tipsy. They get into the music and convey the meaning of songs in their performance.

* Infamous customers get horribly drunk before approaching the stage, either slurr the lyrics, sing the wrong lyrics, or miss a lot of the lyrics, though intently staring at the karaoke screen. They often stumble around and mess with the KDJ who struggles to protect his equipment from the drunk singer.

* Famous customers have a song card or put their song requests in early. They wait their turn in the song rotation, perform well and tip the KDJ AFTERward or buy him a drink as a "thank you", if they can afford it.

* Infamous customers put their song requests in late, complain about having to wait their turn, try to bribe the KDJ to move them up in the rotation with offers of sexual favors or by putting money into the tip jar PRIOR to the performance, then steal the money back when the rotation is too big to allow them to still sing that night. They often make a scene and stomp off...

This all stems from real life experiences. Be "famous"! :-)

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Love Versus Physical And Sexual Attraction

How do you know if it’s really love and not just physical and sexual attraction?
It’s hard enough to answer that question for yourself, but what are the indicators for real emotion?
First off, love at first sight may exist, but you will never know for sure unless you take time to explore what you’re really feeling. Sight is only one of our senses. Obviously, love involves a whole lot more, including devotion, commitment, and the will to look through and accept another’s flaws. There are certain things we see as attractive in another person, including but not limited to physical traits, such as blond hair and blue eyes, for instance, certain body types, someone’s smile, little antics, or the way they talk.
Now admiring their physical traits can make someone really sexually excited, especially in males as I noticed lol. However, that doesn’t need to be the case. Females seem to be more apt to getting the proverbial butterflies in their stomach. Still, this all may be sexual attraction and has not much to do with love. When you get to the point where you’ve known a person for a while and you still feel very warm about them, still admiring things that are less physical in nature, the way they express themselves, their intelligence, their creativity, the way they treat others, the way they handle difficult situations, and the way they show you affection, despite not having been involved in any kind of sexual contact with them, then just maybe you find yourself in love.
I found myself in a dream a few days ago: I said to someone I like a lot:
“…sure, I want to take you home, but not for sex. I want to take you home for the wonderful hugs, to hear you talk about your little projects and your kids. I want you for you!”
That alone proves to me that I am at a point in my life where I want to settle down. I don’t want to sleep around until I find the one who’s really worth it. Maybe that person is already in my life, but hard to say. I want to be sure. Most of all when falling in love, how you can know for sure whether feelings are mutual. Is it when the other person talks about you to others in a non-sexual way, but rather admiring your personal strengths and abilities? That may just be a real good friend for you. Is it when they somehow keep involving you in their life? Is it when they offer to be there for you when you really need them, and listen to you when nobody else will?
It seems like friendship is the main building block in developing real love, no matter what. You can learn to live with someone, but friendship requires many of the same things love does. Friendship doesn’t have to be exclusive, but love needs to be. Neither one of them can involve manipulation of any kind. Don’t abuse benefits that come with the relationship, or else it simply won’t last. And if you are with someone, or want to be, be subtle. Keep the real personal things to yourself. Don’t embarrass the other person by revealing things that should stay between the two of you. Being proud of the one you love is great, but advertising them isn’t the way to go. Or are you in love at all?
Unconditional love is mandatory in love, but also in true friendship. In friendship we are to be like brothers and sisters. In love we are to be like lovers, beyond any family ties.

Protecting My Friends

Some people may think I am crazy for loving my fiends like I do. But I have been more heartbroken about losing a friend than a significant other. Nothing can replace true friendship! Men and women come and go, but true friends stick around! When I have a friend who I feel I can trust, I am there for them and have their back. When someone harms them emotionally or physically, I will be there with the promise to become the attacker's worst nightmare, if needed. I am the type of person that is a great observer and very intuitive. I smell trouble way before it happens, usually. I cant always prevent it, but I do whenever possible. When trouble happens, anyway, even if no severe action is taken, I always have time to give, advice to share, a shoulder to cry on, a hug to comfort, a place to sleep and food to eat!

If you get on my bad side, though, don't expect me to come hold your hand while you put down and disrespect my friends... I won't stand for it! Liars only deceive themselves, disrespectful people don't earn respect and cheaters just cheat themselves out of a happy life with the one that is willing to love them exclusively and unconditionally! Remember it's your own insecurities and baggage that keep you from growing. Keep to yourself, hypocrites and fakes, until you can straighten out your life BEFORE becoming part of someone else's, causing discomfort and grief down the road!

However, if you still can't get a grip on yourself.... remember.... I'll be there, too!

Our Authentic Self

I have gained a lot of life experiences for being only 34 years old. Life has taught me many things, but one of my greatest achievements has been becoming my true self again after long years of struggle. I learned is that being authentic is essential to loving ourselves and being loved! Being authentic means always being true to yourself and others. It also means being unique and standing up for yourself, no matter what!

Zig Ziglar says: "You cannot consistently act in a manner that is inconsistent with who you really are!", and it's so true! Why lie to yourself and about yourself? Someone will eventually find out, and trust will be lost.
Yes, truth can hurt sometimes. However dishonesty will cause chain reactions of unknown magnitude that carry from you to friends and on to their friends. Suddenly you find yourself with a bad reputation that affects your life and even your work. When I say "bad reputation" I mean a reputation of being dishonest in your dealings, being two-faced, and suffering from lack of "backbone". "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not!" is another favorite quote of mine. Even if you are feared or disliked, truth and authenticity always demand respect, at the very least!

Lack of authenticity reflects itself in our family life, friendships and in our work. My family and friends know that I am authentic. I say what I do and do what I say. I have their back! That's how it should be. If I commit to something, I usually do it, unless there are unwanted or unexpected circumstances that force me to do otherwise. Work is a little bit of a different story. Most people work jobs that they don't really like. They do it for the money and benefits, and because it somewhat fits their talents. I feel that you're really only authentic in your work as long as you love at least part of it. I am much into the healing arts and while I am quite talented in being a Developmental Therapist, lately I have found that it isn't a 100% perfect fit for me. Believe it, or not, I have been told that I am too kind! Well the healing professions have many facets and I will remain within that professional niche. But I will look further into Massage Therapy, Reiki, Crystals and Herbalism, while continuing to write. These are my "true to myself" talents. The creative arts are just as much part of myself, however, to chose beauty over healing would be foolish. Even though my many talents can be used in different ways, only the healing arts would really make for an authentic "Petra-Profession". Only when the profession matches your authentic self, will you truly love your job!

There is so much more I could say, but for now, in conclusion:
Acting in accordance to your authentic self is liberating! And I love it!

A Good Friend is Worth More Than Their Weight in Gold!

A Good Friend is Worth More Than Their Weight in Gold!

There are many definitions of friend, but when you have someone that doesn’t judge you, understands you, comforts you, even when they themselves are down and shares their possessions with you, no questions asked, you might have found a real friend! When you can trust each other and talk about everything, be there for each other in times of need and share connections to get ahead in life, regardless of your own benefit, that’s true friendship. Friends that may be miles apart or aren't talking all that often, because life happens, but pick up right where they left off when they get back together can be best friends. When you spiritually and intellectually connect and share common values, you really have a chance at keeping that wonderful friendship for life!

I am blessed enough to have one female friend who is just like that, but I know that I have found yet another close friend, and we truly feel like we’re sisters, just born to different moms!
There are times, when I remember the abundance that exists in my life, even when things look bleak.
Oftentimes, it has been recommended to write down a list of things you are grateful for every day to enhance your abundance thinking. I think it is a great idea to do that at least once in a while. I have done it and it helped me a lot!

Today, I feel extremely grateful for having quite a few friends I can trust, but these two particular soul sisters of mine deserve special mentioning here! You have done all the above for me and more! You know who you are! ;) You both start with K, one lives in my town the other one in Boise ;) Love you!

Nurturing REAL Friendships

I wrote earlier that I have taken some time to nurture friendships that are important to me. I have always been a good friend to people I care about. I have received calls and literal cries for help and went to friends houses in as little as 5 minutes. I take my friendships VERY seriously! But often, in the past, my commitment to help people borderlined self-sacrifice. And people not only used, but abused my goodwill. That type of friendship is one-sided. It isn't "real".

The friendships that I now try to nurture, are those that are mutually benefiting. They bring harmony to all friends involved. For the first time in a long time, I have friends that will share their home, their food, their advice, their feelings and activities and other friends with me, without asking anything in return. Just the same way I have always acted toward others. These friends are rare and few in between. Most of those rare friends I have live hours away from me. Now, I have a few that are close-by, yet again.

I finally feel like I belong to a circle of friends once more that values my presence, and what I do and say, just for the fact that I am being me, and that they enjoy me being around. I so appreciate that! I hadn't been told AND shown in a long time that I am being loved for who I really am. And indeed, I can be myself with them. I don't have to walk around as if on egg-shells, just because I might offend someone or because they might feel that I am weird. It gives me a strong sense of freedom and belonging... two major human desires! Being able to be yourself in the midst of others is so powerful! It builds trust, because there is truth in what you do and say! It's the greatest asset in any relationship. "You cannot consistently act in a way that is inconsistent with who you really are", as Zig Ziglar would say. However, if you are yourself, others will know and appreciate it. It is even more powerful, when you are yourself in kindness! Knowing that a friend has your back, and you have theirs, even in tough times, creates a wonderful bond! If you can go months without talking, because life gets busy, and then come right back to another 4 hr conversation - that's so awesome! To get hugs when you need them - God I love it!

I love you so much, my REAL friends! You know who you are!