Random things I learned from friends, friendships and while hanging with friends :-)

This post comes with a good portion of humor lol. The following list should give you smiles, subtle advice, and make you think a little further than you normally would.

* With friends around, you can never make enough coffee in the morning (note to self: I need a bigger coffee pot and bigger mugs!)

* A drippy coffee pot can fill 2 mugs at the same time lol

* If you smoke, your first cigarette in the morning should always have a mug of coffee with it. Both taste even better when you can share them with a friend or neighbor!

* When a fashionable and sophisticated friend suggests that you try on their clothes, do it, even if you would never buy those items yourself. You may just find that you are developing a whole new great style and build new confidence!

* Eating after midnight is never a bad thing, especially when you do it with friends who look out for you! Unless, of course you are a Gremlin haha!

* If a friend makes a mistake, be there for them, but don't insist that they follow it. You can only change yourself, not others! But learn from their mistakes. After all, you now already know the outcome and won't have to make them on your own!

* Everybody will respect you more, if you tell them the truth to their face! Even if they aren't your friend, and even, if it hurts! Matter of fact: you may gain new friends that way!

* Real friends will tell you the truth to your face, even if you don't like it, because they care. Respect them for it! Consider and appreciate their insight!

* When a friend gives you logical advice, listen carefully, they may know you better than you expect, and they may know things you don't!

* True friends will always be there for you when you really need them. They will go the extra mile to make you comfortable when you hang out together, even if you don't talk or see each other every day! Do the same for them!

* You have a great friendship when silence isn't awkward - ever! It means that you feel comfortable and you understand each other without words! Actions are all that really matter!

* Real friends will save you from that drunk stranger who won't leave you alone and kick butt, if someone harms you, before you even have to lift a finger! They always have your back!

* You can always get a ride or crash for the night with friends, if you had too much to drink or are too tired to drive all the way home! They will share their couch, bed, food and give you the company you like best! Their door is always open for you!

* You may hate doing your own dishes, but if you do it for friends, it's way more fun and will always put a smile on their face! This is not a joke! I have done it for quite a few friends and it always works! Especially when they don't know you did it until after the fact! :-)

* When you've had a rough day, be with friends. Their hugs, conversations and having fun with them will give you a renewed positive view on life and make you sleep better at night!

* Choose your friends wisely! Who you hang out with, defines you in the eyes of others, but also for yourself. Stay away from toxic people! If someone starts draining your energy and makes you feel negative or bad about yourself, the friendship will turn toxic. Take a break or find new friends. Life is too short to waste with people who make you miserable. Misery seeks company - and you're not it!

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Love Versus Physical And Sexual Attraction

How do you know if it’s really love and not just physical and sexual attraction?
It’s hard enough to answer that question for yourself, but what are the indicators for real emotion?
First off, love at first sight may exist, but you will never know for sure unless you take time to explore what you’re really feeling. Sight is only one of our senses. Obviously, love involves a whole lot more, including devotion, commitment, and the will to look through and accept another’s flaws. There are certain things we see as attractive in another person, including but not limited to physical traits, such as blond hair and blue eyes, for instance, certain body types, someone’s smile, little antics, or the way they talk.
Now admiring their physical traits can make someone really sexually excited, especially in males as I noticed lol. However, that doesn’t need to be the case. Females seem to be more apt to getting the proverbial butterflies in their stomach. Still, this all may be sexual attraction and has not much to do with love. When you get to the point where you’ve known a person for a while and you still feel very warm about them, still admiring things that are less physical in nature, the way they express themselves, their intelligence, their creativity, the way they treat others, the way they handle difficult situations, and the way they show you affection, despite not having been involved in any kind of sexual contact with them, then just maybe you find yourself in love.
I found myself in a dream a few days ago: I said to someone I like a lot:
“…sure, I want to take you home, but not for sex. I want to take you home for the wonderful hugs, to hear you talk about your little projects and your kids. I want you for you!”
That alone proves to me that I am at a point in my life where I want to settle down. I don’t want to sleep around until I find the one who’s really worth it. Maybe that person is already in my life, but hard to say. I want to be sure. Most of all when falling in love, how you can know for sure whether feelings are mutual. Is it when the other person talks about you to others in a non-sexual way, but rather admiring your personal strengths and abilities? That may just be a real good friend for you. Is it when they somehow keep involving you in their life? Is it when they offer to be there for you when you really need them, and listen to you when nobody else will?
It seems like friendship is the main building block in developing real love, no matter what. You can learn to live with someone, but friendship requires many of the same things love does. Friendship doesn’t have to be exclusive, but love needs to be. Neither one of them can involve manipulation of any kind. Don’t abuse benefits that come with the relationship, or else it simply won’t last. And if you are with someone, or want to be, be subtle. Keep the real personal things to yourself. Don’t embarrass the other person by revealing things that should stay between the two of you. Being proud of the one you love is great, but advertising them isn’t the way to go. Or are you in love at all?
Unconditional love is mandatory in love, but also in true friendship. In friendship we are to be like brothers and sisters. In love we are to be like lovers, beyond any family ties.

"Truth Or Dare"

"Truth Or Dare" is an interesting game. Dares sometimes can be annoying to others, unsafe or get you in trouble. Hence I usually stick with "Truth"! I like telling the truth, even if it might be a bit embarrassing or hurtful to people's feelings. For some people, telling the truth is a dare in itself. Let me correct that. For a LOT of people, it is a dare to go beyond what they normally do. They may not be liars, but people often refuse to see, acknowledge or speak the truth, with other words DENY it, despite the fact that they KNOW it. The game "Truth" is really is a dare to admit a truth like that to others.

I look at it this way: to come out and tell tell the truth can be quite liberating. Yes, it may involve some unexpected reactions and emotions, but  it also helps your own self-realization and can re-define friendship relationships. In the dating world, it can help to get to know one another on a different and maybe deeper level than what transpires from an initial conversation. Motives can become clearer as well, if the proper questions are asked. You can almost look at it as a fun-based interview for relationship prospects. :P

I like to play it with random people, not so much for them to hear truths from me, but also for me to see what questions they ask. It tells me what they secretly think and want to know about me, but are afraid to ask in most cases. Here, I open up a door for them to find out more about me, and in turn I learn more about them, as well! What a great deal!! There is often more wisdom in (and in looking at) the question than in the answer to the question...

Protecting My Friends

Some people may think I am crazy for loving my fiends like I do. But I have been more heartbroken about losing a friend than a significant other. Nothing can replace true friendship! Men and women come and go, but true friends stick around! When I have a friend who I feel I can trust, I am there for them and have their back. When someone harms them emotionally or physically, I will be there with the promise to become the attacker's worst nightmare, if needed. I am the type of person that is a great observer and very intuitive. I smell trouble way before it happens, usually. I cant always prevent it, but I do whenever possible. When trouble happens, anyway, even if no severe action is taken, I always have time to give, advice to share, a shoulder to cry on, a hug to comfort, a place to sleep and food to eat!

If you get on my bad side, though, don't expect me to come hold your hand while you put down and disrespect my friends... I won't stand for it! Liars only deceive themselves, disrespectful people don't earn respect and cheaters just cheat themselves out of a happy life with the one that is willing to love them exclusively and unconditionally! Remember it's your own insecurities and baggage that keep you from growing. Keep to yourself, hypocrites and fakes, until you can straighten out your life BEFORE becoming part of someone else's, causing discomfort and grief down the road!

However, if you still can't get a grip on yourself.... remember.... I'll be there, too!

A Good Friend is Worth More Than Their Weight in Gold!

A Good Friend is Worth More Than Their Weight in Gold!

There are many definitions of friend, but when you have someone that doesn’t judge you, understands you, comforts you, even when they themselves are down and shares their possessions with you, no questions asked, you might have found a real friend! When you can trust each other and talk about everything, be there for each other in times of need and share connections to get ahead in life, regardless of your own benefit, that’s true friendship. Friends that may be miles apart or aren't talking all that often, because life happens, but pick up right where they left off when they get back together can be best friends. When you spiritually and intellectually connect and share common values, you really have a chance at keeping that wonderful friendship for life!

I am blessed enough to have one female friend who is just like that, but I know that I have found yet another close friend, and we truly feel like we’re sisters, just born to different moms!
There are times, when I remember the abundance that exists in my life, even when things look bleak.
Oftentimes, it has been recommended to write down a list of things you are grateful for every day to enhance your abundance thinking. I think it is a great idea to do that at least once in a while. I have done it and it helped me a lot!

Today, I feel extremely grateful for having quite a few friends I can trust, but these two particular soul sisters of mine deserve special mentioning here! You have done all the above for me and more! You know who you are! ;) You both start with K, one lives in my town the other one in Boise ;) Love you!

Nurturing REAL Friendships

I wrote earlier that I have taken some time to nurture friendships that are important to me. I have always been a good friend to people I care about. I have received calls and literal cries for help and went to friends houses in as little as 5 minutes. I take my friendships VERY seriously! But often, in the past, my commitment to help people borderlined self-sacrifice. And people not only used, but abused my goodwill. That type of friendship is one-sided. It isn't "real".

The friendships that I now try to nurture, are those that are mutually benefiting. They bring harmony to all friends involved. For the first time in a long time, I have friends that will share their home, their food, their advice, their feelings and activities and other friends with me, without asking anything in return. Just the same way I have always acted toward others. These friends are rare and few in between. Most of those rare friends I have live hours away from me. Now, I have a few that are close-by, yet again.

I finally feel like I belong to a circle of friends once more that values my presence, and what I do and say, just for the fact that I am being me, and that they enjoy me being around. I so appreciate that! I hadn't been told AND shown in a long time that I am being loved for who I really am. And indeed, I can be myself with them. I don't have to walk around as if on egg-shells, just because I might offend someone or because they might feel that I am weird. It gives me a strong sense of freedom and belonging... two major human desires! Being able to be yourself in the midst of others is so powerful! It builds trust, because there is truth in what you do and say! It's the greatest asset in any relationship. "You cannot consistently act in a way that is inconsistent with who you really are", as Zig Ziglar would say. However, if you are yourself, others will know and appreciate it. It is even more powerful, when you are yourself in kindness! Knowing that a friend has your back, and you have theirs, even in tough times, creates a wonderful bond! If you can go months without talking, because life gets busy, and then come right back to another 4 hr conversation - that's so awesome! To get hugs when you need them - God I love it!

I love you so much, my REAL friends! You know who you are!

Sick and Tired

There always seems to come a time when you worked so much, stressed too much and supported all kinds of worthy causes that you just need a break! Today I woke up dizzy, with sinus trouble and my daughter isn't feeling well either. My son is at a friend's house for a sleepover. I realize that in the past 2 weeks I have spent 8 nights at a friend's house, partially because I volunteered for BRV and it's an hours drive home, just to come back for a 2nd cleanup. Partially, because I needed time to nurture a friendship that is very important to me. In between I worked with kids with disabilities every day, which has been a little rough lately, because there is a lot going on in those kids life, which makes my work a lot more challenging. They also have been sick, and I could have caught a bug from them. My finances aren't what they should be and I am trying to get out of my apartment into a home and time is running out... a lot of stress, to put it in a nutshell.
People can be strong for a very long time, but at some point they just need some rest! Stress is my greatest enemy, and when it starts affecting me physically, I know sleep, quiet time and good food are the only option to get back on track, besides writing. So I am taking the day off to spend with my daughter, vegging out, eating well and getting a few things taken care of that will ease my mind.
I think I need a drastic change in my life; so I am looking at this as building up new strength for the coming days. School is starting on Thursday and life will only get harder for a while, but I am optimistic that everything will resolve itself, once I am back up to par.

Just a short one... What I learned from the movie "Prom"

I've been a little busy, but have several new posts in the works =)

Just had to take a break and watch a teen flick haha!

What I learned from the movie "Prom":

• Take the memories of meaningless relationships off your mirror - and u will finally see yourself! =) 
• Don't judge people by what you hear about them, or by what they look like, not even by what they say - but by their actions, especially when disaster strikes! 
• Further, even when it all looks bleak and you feel alone, do it anyway...! 
• Friendship and good family ties are worth more than love, but love completes both!
• Dishonesty never pays. Much rather it bites you in the butt every time!
• It makes a hell of an impression when you prove 'em all wrong! Winner!
• Be yourself and have fun, no matter who you are and what you look like - everybody will like you better that way!
• Sometimes it takes until the end of the night before all works out the way it should!
• Also - I need to buy and wear more dresses lol! Guys seem to dig it!