Random things I learned from friends, friendships and while hanging with friends :-)

This post comes with a good portion of humor lol. The following list should give you smiles, subtle advice, and make you think a little further than you normally would.

* With friends around, you can never make enough coffee in the morning (note to self: I need a bigger coffee pot and bigger mugs!)

* A drippy coffee pot can fill 2 mugs at the same time lol

* If you smoke, your first cigarette in the morning should always have a mug of coffee with it. Both taste even better when you can share them with a friend or neighbor!

* When a fashionable and sophisticated friend suggests that you try on their clothes, do it, even if you would never buy those items yourself. You may just find that you are developing a whole new great style and build new confidence!

* Eating after midnight is never a bad thing, especially when you do it with friends who look out for you! Unless, of course you are a Gremlin haha!

* If a friend makes a mistake, be there for them, but don't insist that they follow it. You can only change yourself, not others! But learn from their mistakes. After all, you now already know the outcome and won't have to make them on your own!

* Everybody will respect you more, if you tell them the truth to their face! Even if they aren't your friend, and even, if it hurts! Matter of fact: you may gain new friends that way!

* Real friends will tell you the truth to your face, even if you don't like it, because they care. Respect them for it! Consider and appreciate their insight!

* When a friend gives you logical advice, listen carefully, they may know you better than you expect, and they may know things you don't!

* True friends will always be there for you when you really need them. They will go the extra mile to make you comfortable when you hang out together, even if you don't talk or see each other every day! Do the same for them!

* You have a great friendship when silence isn't awkward - ever! It means that you feel comfortable and you understand each other without words! Actions are all that really matter!

* Real friends will save you from that drunk stranger who won't leave you alone and kick butt, if someone harms you, before you even have to lift a finger! They always have your back!

* You can always get a ride or crash for the night with friends, if you had too much to drink or are too tired to drive all the way home! They will share their couch, bed, food and give you the company you like best! Their door is always open for you!

* You may hate doing your own dishes, but if you do it for friends, it's way more fun and will always put a smile on their face! This is not a joke! I have done it for quite a few friends and it always works! Especially when they don't know you did it until after the fact! :-)

* When you've had a rough day, be with friends. Their hugs, conversations and having fun with them will give you a renewed positive view on life and make you sleep better at night!

* Choose your friends wisely! Who you hang out with, defines you in the eyes of others, but also for yourself. Stay away from toxic people! If someone starts draining your energy and makes you feel negative or bad about yourself, the friendship will turn toxic. Take a break or find new friends. Life is too short to waste with people who make you miserable. Misery seeks company - and you're not it!

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Moving In Less Than 30 Days On A Small Budget

I was just told that my moving date will be in less than 30 days, basically more like 3 weeks. Great joy to me, but hectic times ahead! How does one accomplish a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, living room, kitchen and vehicle move in that short a time frame without over-stressing and over-working oneself?

1. Build Up That Motivation!
First off, the more pleasant the result of the move, the more motivated you will be to get out of the old place! Use that positive strong energy whenever it's there when packing up. 

2. Get Free Moving Boxes
Why pay for moving boxes, when you can get them free from a lot of stores? Ask your local grocery in the morning when they are first unpacking products to score quite a number of sturdy boxes. I also have gotten boxes from local pet stores and even the thrift store, where people deliver donations in boxes that will be trashed once the donations are put on the store shelves. Some recycling places may also let you take some of the boxes they received if you ask nicely! Sometimes you can get free moving boxes on Craiglist as well. Do these things for a couple of days in a row and you'll have plenty of moving boxes free of charge!

3. Organize! 
I am a little OCD when it comes to packing, but it helps me to put everything in the right spot and find my stuff once I get to my new place. First, I go room by room and item type by item type. Secondly I pack the things that I don't use much. That way, they are out of the way. The most used and daily use items will go in the last boxes I pack, just before and on the day of the move. What goes on the truck or trailer last comes out first and is right there when you need it!

4. Pace yourself!
Don't overexert yourself on the last few days before the move! Instead, as soon as you know the approximate moving date, begin packing bit by bit, whenever you have a spare 15 minutes and the energy to do it! by the time the moving date comes around, you will have a pretty stress-free time, just moving boxes from one place to the next. Since you organized everything in first place, you may even be able to throw a little housewarming party the same day with friends who helped you move!

5. Label Boxes!
There are quite a few things you can do, when it comes to labeling. Most people designate boxes by room, like kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. Others may label them by item type, like books, pans, DVDs, etc. You can also use a room and level of importance description, like "office-important" or "kitchen-miscellaneous". A less utilized, but effective method is to label boxes with numbers, and assign 3x5 cards with a detailed list of items to each numbered moving box. Label the boxes as you go. That way you won't forget what's in them!

6. Protect Your Valuables!
Keep valuables with you at all times, or pack them safely and know where they are. Label them with a code name, so that only you know what it is and in which box they are. That way they don't get lost or stolen!


7. Call Utility Companies Ahead Of Time!
Call utility companies like the power and phone company, the waterworks and post office ahead of time to transfer services to the new residence. You wouldn't want to get to your new home without being able to turn on the light, heat or a/c, take a shower or make a phone call! It's also nice to have TV and Internet at the end of moving day to relax.

8. Enlist Help For Moving Day & Confirm!
Now you know that everything will be ready for the move. But how many trips will it take to move all your possessions and furniture to your new place? Do you have a truck, a trailer, or a U-haul moving van? Of course you can hire professional movers, but most of the time it's less expensive and much more pleasant to have friends to help you move! Make sure to see who is available to help on the date of the move, for how long, and their lifting capabilities in regards to heavy items like living room furniture. Does anyone you know have a trailer or truck you can borrow free of charge or by paying for fuel alone? Are there any extra drivers available to move additional vehicles besides your car and truck?
Friends that help deserve lots of thanks! Maybe there are items you were planning to leave behind. Some of the friends helping you may appreciate a little token of thanks just like that!

9. Prepare Portable Food And Beverages The Night Before Moving Day!
Moving won't allow you to cook a lot of food and stop by a lot of places to get groceries without leaving your possessions alone temporarily. It is best to prepare an adequate supply of food, such as sandwiches, snacks and portable beverages for you, friends and movers. Have a cooler and ice on hand for when the fridge is no longer an option. It cuts down on time, and you won't go hungry or thirsty in all the excitement.


10. Get A Good Night's Sleep And a Good Breakfast!
You will need all the energy you can get on moving day. Go to bed early and have a plan laid out for the day of the move. It will take things off your mind that might otherwise keep you awake and restless. A good breakfast takes care of physical stress and cravings while moving your belongings right from the start.

Happy Moving!

Protecting My Friends

Some people may think I am crazy for loving my fiends like I do. But I have been more heartbroken about losing a friend than a significant other. Nothing can replace true friendship! Men and women come and go, but true friends stick around! When I have a friend who I feel I can trust, I am there for them and have their back. When someone harms them emotionally or physically, I will be there with the promise to become the attacker's worst nightmare, if needed. I am the type of person that is a great observer and very intuitive. I smell trouble way before it happens, usually. I cant always prevent it, but I do whenever possible. When trouble happens, anyway, even if no severe action is taken, I always have time to give, advice to share, a shoulder to cry on, a hug to comfort, a place to sleep and food to eat!

If you get on my bad side, though, don't expect me to come hold your hand while you put down and disrespect my friends... I won't stand for it! Liars only deceive themselves, disrespectful people don't earn respect and cheaters just cheat themselves out of a happy life with the one that is willing to love them exclusively and unconditionally! Remember it's your own insecurities and baggage that keep you from growing. Keep to yourself, hypocrites and fakes, until you can straighten out your life BEFORE becoming part of someone else's, causing discomfort and grief down the road!

However, if you still can't get a grip on yourself.... remember.... I'll be there, too!

Our Authentic Self

I have gained a lot of life experiences for being only 34 years old. Life has taught me many things, but one of my greatest achievements has been becoming my true self again after long years of struggle. I learned is that being authentic is essential to loving ourselves and being loved! Being authentic means always being true to yourself and others. It also means being unique and standing up for yourself, no matter what!

Zig Ziglar says: "You cannot consistently act in a manner that is inconsistent with who you really are!", and it's so true! Why lie to yourself and about yourself? Someone will eventually find out, and trust will be lost.
Yes, truth can hurt sometimes. However dishonesty will cause chain reactions of unknown magnitude that carry from you to friends and on to their friends. Suddenly you find yourself with a bad reputation that affects your life and even your work. When I say "bad reputation" I mean a reputation of being dishonest in your dealings, being two-faced, and suffering from lack of "backbone". "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not!" is another favorite quote of mine. Even if you are feared or disliked, truth and authenticity always demand respect, at the very least!

Lack of authenticity reflects itself in our family life, friendships and in our work. My family and friends know that I am authentic. I say what I do and do what I say. I have their back! That's how it should be. If I commit to something, I usually do it, unless there are unwanted or unexpected circumstances that force me to do otherwise. Work is a little bit of a different story. Most people work jobs that they don't really like. They do it for the money and benefits, and because it somewhat fits their talents. I feel that you're really only authentic in your work as long as you love at least part of it. I am much into the healing arts and while I am quite talented in being a Developmental Therapist, lately I have found that it isn't a 100% perfect fit for me. Believe it, or not, I have been told that I am too kind! Well the healing professions have many facets and I will remain within that professional niche. But I will look further into Massage Therapy, Reiki, Crystals and Herbalism, while continuing to write. These are my "true to myself" talents. The creative arts are just as much part of myself, however, to chose beauty over healing would be foolish. Even though my many talents can be used in different ways, only the healing arts would really make for an authentic "Petra-Profession". Only when the profession matches your authentic self, will you truly love your job!

There is so much more I could say, but for now, in conclusion:
Acting in accordance to your authentic self is liberating! And I love it!

Yes I Speak in Riddles…

"…is wanting to say something really profound.... but you would never really get it.... not right now... I think... so I remain quiet and hope u get it without hearing it.... someday... damn am I philosophical or what…? Maybe time for a really confusing blog... or maybe I should just go to bed... LMAO!”

That’s my current Facebook status. “Why?” you may wonder, but I just can’t tell! Some words need to remain unspoken for your own sake and that of others! It takes quite a strength of will. Not because of the truth of what might be spoken, but because of the fear of what reaction it might cause in others. Maybe the time isn’t right, maybe a person isn’t ready to hear it, or maybe the circumstances are all wrong! Patience is a virtue, but to me it’s a bother, because as a Scorpio I make up my mind in a jffy - and there it is - stuck in a loop of ever repeating thoughts.  It’s kind of OCD, actually… It’s hard not to be able to share my clearly made up mind with others. All because of false misconceptions and even my own assumptions. Who knows, maybe what I have to say, or think in this case, may be the solution to all my problems LOL!

Yet, I hesitate… Sometimes I wish people of all walks and signs would get this, but they don’t!  Scorpios love scientific facts before they take anything for granted, and even then, they want something to back facts up! Decisions… this mindset often leaves us indecisive…. Why chose from facts that we have no proof for…?!
At the same time we cling to truths and hopes of things to come. Intuition is a big factor, but its hard to go by that with close friends because we rather deny flaws , than see what we don’t want to see…

Well I am quite outspoken, but some things… well I don’t want to hurt someone, or give them hope or  make them hate or love me, just because of some things I write.  I care that much! Sometimes I do it anyway… I am an oxymoron, there you go! LOL

I will not ever expect you to understand me, unless you are a Scorpio like me! Just that much I love just as much as I hate  when I do, but since hate doesn’t serve anyone, I refrain from it. As much as I am a down to earth realistic person, I am a dreamer, a visionary! It starts with dreams, goes on with plans, employs great efforts, and then succeeds. There is not option for failure and integrity is mandatory, if it shall come to pass! If anyone negative gets in my way, they get ignored or dropped… or I use them to enhance my will to rebel, to make things happen despite of them…
I have a great sense of justice… though I don’t want to be the one to judge!
One of my mottos is definitely “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” don’t me mistaken - I may seem completely unengaged, but I am an observer like no other.  When they say, Scorpios are secretive…. that’s what they talk about. We only share what we find is necessary at that time. If we share a lot you still haven’t heard the half of it!

If you really want to understand someone like me, you better have an IQ of 120+ and the ability to think in an abstract way LOL! Mine is quite a bit higher per most recent test, if you were wondering ;)

I may seem cold, aloof and like I am not paying much attention at times. But it’s really selective hearing and most of the time I will be able to repeat things back to you that you think I never heard! And by the way, I am the most loyal creature you ever met… just saying! Forgive me for who I am and you will have the best friend you ever met! Even if I  don’t always disclose all that is on my mind…. And I love my friends like there is no tomorrow! Just don’t ever get on my bad side….

A Good Friend is Worth More Than Their Weight in Gold!

A Good Friend is Worth More Than Their Weight in Gold!

There are many definitions of friend, but when you have someone that doesn’t judge you, understands you, comforts you, even when they themselves are down and shares their possessions with you, no questions asked, you might have found a real friend! When you can trust each other and talk about everything, be there for each other in times of need and share connections to get ahead in life, regardless of your own benefit, that’s true friendship. Friends that may be miles apart or aren't talking all that often, because life happens, but pick up right where they left off when they get back together can be best friends. When you spiritually and intellectually connect and share common values, you really have a chance at keeping that wonderful friendship for life!

I am blessed enough to have one female friend who is just like that, but I know that I have found yet another close friend, and we truly feel like we’re sisters, just born to different moms!
There are times, when I remember the abundance that exists in my life, even when things look bleak.
Oftentimes, it has been recommended to write down a list of things you are grateful for every day to enhance your abundance thinking. I think it is a great idea to do that at least once in a while. I have done it and it helped me a lot!

Today, I feel extremely grateful for having quite a few friends I can trust, but these two particular soul sisters of mine deserve special mentioning here! You have done all the above for me and more! You know who you are! ;) You both start with K, one lives in my town the other one in Boise ;) Love you!

Nurturing REAL Friendships

I wrote earlier that I have taken some time to nurture friendships that are important to me. I have always been a good friend to people I care about. I have received calls and literal cries for help and went to friends houses in as little as 5 minutes. I take my friendships VERY seriously! But often, in the past, my commitment to help people borderlined self-sacrifice. And people not only used, but abused my goodwill. That type of friendship is one-sided. It isn't "real".

The friendships that I now try to nurture, are those that are mutually benefiting. They bring harmony to all friends involved. For the first time in a long time, I have friends that will share their home, their food, their advice, their feelings and activities and other friends with me, without asking anything in return. Just the same way I have always acted toward others. These friends are rare and few in between. Most of those rare friends I have live hours away from me. Now, I have a few that are close-by, yet again.

I finally feel like I belong to a circle of friends once more that values my presence, and what I do and say, just for the fact that I am being me, and that they enjoy me being around. I so appreciate that! I hadn't been told AND shown in a long time that I am being loved for who I really am. And indeed, I can be myself with them. I don't have to walk around as if on egg-shells, just because I might offend someone or because they might feel that I am weird. It gives me a strong sense of freedom and belonging... two major human desires! Being able to be yourself in the midst of others is so powerful! It builds trust, because there is truth in what you do and say! It's the greatest asset in any relationship. "You cannot consistently act in a way that is inconsistent with who you really are", as Zig Ziglar would say. However, if you are yourself, others will know and appreciate it. It is even more powerful, when you are yourself in kindness! Knowing that a friend has your back, and you have theirs, even in tough times, creates a wonderful bond! If you can go months without talking, because life gets busy, and then come right back to another 4 hr conversation - that's so awesome! To get hugs when you need them - God I love it!

I love you so much, my REAL friends! You know who you are!

Ways to Deal with Negative Emotions

Negative Emotions don’t just make you miserable, but also all those people you come into contact with. They can result in depression, drug and alcohol abuse and separation from friends and family. Misery seeks company as they say…

I found several ways to help me overcome negative mindsets and attitudes.

MUSIC

Music has always been a great way for me to handle setbacks. Song writers, since the beginning of time, have created lyrics that stemmed from their own experiences. There is nothing more powerful than knowing that you are not the only one that has gone through a lot of bad stuff! When I feel sad or mad I turn up the music and sing out loud. I chose songs that relate most closely to my current life situation.


CHANGE OF SURROUNDINGS

Sometimes you just have to get out of the house or away from a situation that seems to drive you insane. Maybe meeting up with a friend for a coffee or taking the kids to the park will help get you mind of negative things for a while. Maybe a simple walk at night and looking at the stars will help you clear you head a bit and focus on more positive and beautiful things in life.


FREE-WRITING

One of my favorite things to do is to just write my thoughts off my soul, not even thinking about what I write; just getting it out of my mind and onto the paper! If I am fairly composed I actually write poems, essays and rap songs, believe it or not! J. Most of the time it helps me to rearrange my  thoughts and refocus. That way I go from an overwhelmed state of mind to calm and ready to change my situation. Perfect!


PARADIGM-SHIFT

A Paradigm-Shift happens when you manage to change your perspective on life’s situations. Occasionally we just need to see things from a different angle in order to make sense out of it…
For instance, you just cut your finger, but then you hear that your friend just has a severe car accident and is in the hospital. How lucky you are! You hurt a bit, but you can use your hand, feed yourself, adhere to your own schedule and sleep in your own bed without frequent interruptions by nurses. So hey, you are much better off than your friend, right?! Go visit and see if you can cheer/her up a bit!


REVERSE-THINKING

I once heard about a method that ended up helping me to get out of a depression years ago. The method consists out of writing all kinds of persistent negative thoughts on one side of a piece of paper.  When finished, you look at your paper and try and come up with a similar, but totally opposite, positive statement.
You try and memorize the list of negative versus positive statements and whenever you find yourself in a negative thought process, you simply tell yourself “stop” and recall the fitting positive statement to overpower the negative thought. Become a little rebellious in that aspect. Don’t let negative thinking hold you back. When You think: I will never get that - turn it around and say: I will learn hard and ask people questions, so that I get a better understanding! ;)


TALKING  TO TRUSTED FAMILY MEMBERS OR FRIENDS AND ASKING FOR HELP

Sometimes we cannot deal with our personal issues alone and refuse to ask for help. But there are so many people out there who love us and are more than happy to help. Asking doesn’t hurt. The worst you can get is a no, and the best that can happen is a good solution you would have never expected. Even just being able to talk to someone can make you feel a whole lot better that dwelling on your miserable circumstances.

EXERCISE OR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY

Physical activity increases endorphins in your body. Those “feel-good” hormones can quickly provide a calmer and better outlook on life and help you to focus. Go for a walk, start a new hobby with an activity partner or local group that engages in an active lifestyle, go to the gym or just turn on some music and dance while doing household chores. Anything that gets your heart pumping  for at least 30 mins works! =)

I hope these suggestions help! If you have any other ideas, please feel free to share!